When I listen to sad songs, I feel my heart. Sometimes it stirs memories of past heart-ache, longing, regrets, but more often--it creates room for me to feel inside that soft, amazing part of my chest where the organ that pumps life into my veins exists--my heart.
Music, I have often felt, is medicine. It can lift us up, invigorate us and even stir things to the surface that need to be felt. It can even give us strength in weak moments. I think sad songs in particular cause introspection. The melody, tempo and lyrics all contribute to a state of being that allows for one to tap into her very core. Sometimes this may be why we avoid sad songs--it's not always pleasant, or welcome, to feel into that tender-hearted place. However, I have discovered, as one woman put it, "the superpower of vulnerability." This is true in relationships, yes, but also with oneself. I recently read in Geneen Roth's book, Women, Food and God that unless we begin a feeling, it (the feeling) will never end--so avoiding sadness does not serve us, in fact, it prolongs the pain of it. I would even argue that it's good to "set the mood for sadness" and listen to a sappy, oh-so-sad, song. It allows us to feel what may not have been okay to feel at other times.
I have many Reiki clients that are on what I would call the "threshold" of sadness. It's there, it needs to be felt, it's bubbling to the surface....but it's freaking scary to feel! So, what does one do when that is the case? Well, a wise soul once suggested to me that I listen to sad music to tap into sadness I was not, until that time, ready to feel. Just a song. Just one song. To wallow in the melody and the feeling it created in my body. To sob...to thrash a bit. And I will tell you that by just placing my toe in the seemingly never ending ocean of melancholy, I started to heal what was causing that pain in the first place.
With just one song.
So now, even when I'm not really "down" (and I definitely have my moments of sadness, too) I will listen to a few sad songs. I'll pay attention to how my heart responds--and if I want to, I will cry. Crying is such a gift and one we often want to ignore or avoid, but it's a necessary release. It moves energy--allowing us more space for the stuff we want in our lives. And it heals. A lot.
So...listen to a sad song, or two. Light some candles or incense, lower the lights....drop into your body. Feel whatever shows up--knowing that it's just for this one song (or more if you like).
Don't forget the tissue.
Suggested listening:
Catalyst --Anna Nalick
Warm Whispers ---Missy Higgens
Heal Over --KT Tunstall
You Could Be Happy --Snow Patrol
Everybody Hurts ---REM
Grey Room --Damien Rice
Gravity --Sara Bareilles
